Let's Be Frank

Any of us who have been watching the baseball playoffs on TBS have quickly come to learn that FrankTV debuts on November 20. The Frank in question is Frank Caliendo who in the commercials that seem to air during every station break does a series of impressions of, among others, George W. Bush, John Madden, Al Pacino, and Dr. Phil. He actually is very good at the impressions, but the overkill of the ad campaign (as occurs for some show every baseball postseason) makes it ripe for ripping.

Here, however, are my suggestions for additional impressions that Frank should do in his commercials:

• Dane Cook admitting (1) that he knows nothing about baseball, (2) that the only reason he become spokesman for the postseason (in a truly annoying ad campaign) is because he has compromising pictures of Bud Selig and a transvestite prostitute, and (3) admitting that his "comedy" career began when he accidentally wandered onto the stage at the Improv and some drunk talent scout somehow thought he was funny.
• John Cougar Mellencamp singing about the checks he has received from Chevy, how no one was even talking about him because he decided that his latest "hit" should be a car commercial, and telling everyone that this is my country and everyone else can go to hell.
• And, of course, Ron Silver, screaming, "His father's the district attorney." (For those of you who don't get this last reference, I refer you to the 2003 postseason and the constant ads for the show Skin. The show may have only lasted 3 episodes, but the ads remain one of my two favorite memories of that postseason, the other involves Aaron Boone.)