American Idol, 12 men

I'll real-time my thoughts on tonight's episode as I watch. I started watching tonight at 9:13 (DVRed the show, of course). How long will a two-hour episode take when cutting out the human interest and Ryan?

Rudy Cardenas: "Free Ride." I didn't understand one word, other than free ride. His tone wasn't bad, but he wasn't exciting. He was singing a "fun" song, but it was still boring. And his voice sounded a little sharp.

Brandon Rogers: "Rock With You." Boring. Like Cardenas, his voice was fine, but nothing exciting.

Sundance Head: "Knights in White Satin." Is it an amazing feat of singing that he can sing the loud part of "'cause I love you?" The audience thinks so. But boring, again. Interestingly, I thought he sounded better than the other two, although the judges hated it.

Paul Kim. "Careless Whisper." I already hate this guy because he insists on going on stage barefoot at all times. Gross. But, I LOVE CARELESS WHISPER. Did he choose it because it has the word "feet" featured prominently? What happened to the high part???!!! Gobo and I started cracking up in unison. He sounded absolutely awful when he tried to do a falsetto. Although Randy disliked it, he thinks Paul has one of the best male voices in the competition. Which doesn't make me all that excited about the rest of this season.

Chris Richardson. "I Don't Wanna Be." Bo was sooooo much better at this. There is just no comparison. There just isn't anything else to say, other than to suggest Chris drop the Justin Timberlake look if he makes it to next week, because that isn't working either.

Nick Pedro. "Now and Forever." He has horrible posture and he can't hit any of his notes. His voice is too breathy. Perhaps the worst thus far. Gobo: "These people need to pursue the strategy of singing a good song sung by a bad singer." Gobo is right! I am always shocked that Idol contestants don't pick up on this strategy. People want to vote for songs that they love.

Blake Lewis. "?" The beatboxer! I don't know the name of his song, which brings me back to my comment above, under Nick Pedro. Although the song kind of sounds like it might be popular now, and I'm just out-of-touch. He didn't sound amazing, but he sounded better than anyone else thus far. I agree with Simon that he was right not to beatbox. And he probably shouldn't for the next few weeks.

Sanjaya Malakar. "Knocks Me Off My Feet." Wow. A Stevie Wonder song. What a shock. Why do the men insist on doing this? None of them ever come close to Stevie, so they should just cease covering his song. It's ironic that the words in this song say "I don't want to bore you with this." Nice try. Oh yes! Simon just made the same crack I did about "I don't want to bore you with this." I should write for Simon! Oh, and Sanjaya is definitely the worst of the night. And I'm writing that knowing there are still four more singers to come.

Chris Sligh. "Typical." (I suspect that is what this song is called; I have never heard it before.) This is the guy who wants to make Hasselhoff cry. Therefore, I love him. You never really see wit on this show. Chris certainly isn't the best singer in the competition, but at least he isn't boring. I would rather have him stick around that Sanjaya and Nick.

Jared Cotter. "Back at One." He has really long fingers, which he likes pointing at the audience. Again, not exciting, but I really liked his voice and I thought he sang well. He's one I would be interested in seeing more of, to see if he can do something interesting.

A.J. Tabaldo. "All My Love." The fact that a guy who was rejected four times made it this time tells me the competition isn't as good this year. The fact that he might have been the best performance of the night (even though I'm still bored) bodes even worse for this season. He reminds Gobo a little of George Huff with the squat-hopping around.

Phil Stacey. "These Are the Moments." The guy who missed the birth of his baby. Somehow we are supposed to find this endearing and be impressed? Sorry, no. His bald head, big eyes and ears sticking out looks very alien-like. There have already been too many cut-shots to the wife and we're only halfway through the song. I think he oversang a stupid song, but at least he tried to be a little exciting. But honestly--way too much of the wife. Way too much.

I don't think we have ever had a more boring night of Idol, ever. I would say I hope the women would be better tomorrow night, but could they be any worse? As for who I would send home, I could see most of them go and not be sad. I would like to see Blake and Jared again, and Chris because he's funny. Throw in A.J. and Phil because they sang decently. The rest could go home. I would probably get rid of Sanjaya and Nick first, though.

Ended at 10:05, meaning the entire episode took me 52 minutes to get through a two-hour episode. I actually thought it would be less, so go American Idol producers!