Well, That Sucked or Possibly the Most Obvious Movie Review Ever

Yesterday I really wanted to see a movie. Like, willing-to-drive-200-miles-roundtrip-to-get-to-a-theater-whose-sole-offering-wasn't-a-daily-showing-of-The Kingdom-wanted to see a movie. But I wasn't in the mood for anything heavy, serious, or violent. I didn't want to watch Cate Blanchette in huge dresses making googly eyes at Clive Owen, or Viggo Mortensen with his goodies dangling beating people up, or Brad Pitt staring pensively at the screen with Casey Affleck actually acting in the background. In other words, I was desperate for a good, old-fashioned, rom-com. But are there any to be found out there? HELL NO. The marquees read, to my eyes, like a recipe for depression. Even what should be good old action flicks (like, for example, something starring Jennifer Garner and Jamie Foxx for god's sake!) are set in the Middle Eeast and seem to have depressing real-world ties. What the hell is up with this? The studio execs who plan release dates should really get together and have a nice collective viewing of that classic Sullivan's Travels.

Anyway, that long preliminary rant is just to explain why I saw The Game Plan yesterday. For those of you who haven't seen the trailer or read a review (I'm assuming none of you have actually seen the movie) the poster pretty much gives you the story. The Rock is a big old selfish football player who finds out he has an adorable ballet-loving moppet of a daughter who throws his life into chaos until he and all his teammates/friends (SPOILER ALERT) learn to adore her on their way to winning the football championship. I actually, in spite of wanting a romantic-comedy, not daddy-daughter comedy, kind of wanted to see this. I did, after all, see The Pacifier (with Vin Diesel playing a Navy SEAL/nanny and 4 or 5 adorable moppetts) in the theater, and kind of enjoyed it. But The Game Plan makes The Pacifier look like Oscar bait. It was that bad. The Rock is no Vin Diesel. And the annoying love intererest in The Game Plan (played by that Spanish woman from Without a Trace) is DEFINITELY no Lauren Graham (who played the same role in The Pacifier). But . . . I sat through the whole damn thing. And it really really sucked. So even if you're desperate, don't do it. Just . . . pop in a DVD of While You Were Sleeping, or About a Boy, like I should have done yesterday, and will do today.