Emmy Awards: a running diary

My spelling bee running diary was such a hit, I decided to try another for the Emmy Awards. Unfortunately, I didn't think to do this until an hour into the show. So I'll do a quick recap of the first hour and move on. (My intent is to post photos, but guess what? Blogger sucks. Hopefully I will be able to add them at some point.)

Fashion: The color of the night was clearly purple. It's actually kind of odd just how many actresses chose it: Evangeline Lilly, Jamie Pressly, Cheryl Hines, Sandra Oh (a lavendar-cornflower sort of color), Leah Ramini, Cloris Leachman and Ellen Pompeo all wore some shade of the color. Don't any of them share a stylist? Don't their stylists talk to each other? It seems a strange coincidence that so many would show up wearing an otherwise uncommon color.

Among the women in purple, Lilly would have my pick of best dressed--just a very pretty, flowing dress. My other purple vote would be for Ellen Pompeo. She looks like she gained about 15 pounds! And that's a really good thing. Far more attractive than usual.

My personal favorite woman overall, however, would be a tie between Katherine Heigl, who looked amazing in a skintight nude dress, and Heidi Klum, just because (as you all know) she is the most gorgeous pregnant woman ever. During the red carpet she and Seal told an interviewer that Heidi has been pregnant for 104 of the 150 months they have known each other. And she looked amazing every second!

Surprisingly, Tim Gunn named Mariska Hargitay one of the best dressed women of the night, but I thought she was among the worst. Mariska had a baby three months ago, and, understandly, she hasn't quite lost all of the baby weight. But that is not an excuse for exposed back fat. She just generally looked stuffed into her dress and lumpy, which is never good. Nor did I like Debra Messing's dress--too many tiers and frills. Tim Gunn liked her, too, however. Just a few days ago Tim was the only person I could find who agreed with me that Vincent's dress was ugly. And now we can't agree on the Emmy Awards? So sad.

Oh, and a special shoutout to Virginia Madsen's breasts. She's not the youngest of women anymore, which makes her feat all the more impressive.

All of the supporting awards were given, without much excitement. Megan Mullaly for Will and Grace, again (thank God that show is done), Alan Alda for the West Wing (didn't even bother to show!), Blythe Danner for the now-cancelled Huff (her second in a row, and well-deserved--her role was great) and Jeremy Piven for Entourage (wearing an ascot).

My biggest disappointment in the first hour? Kate Winslet did not win for her guest role on Extras. If you have the chance to watch her episode (titled "Kate Winslet") you must. It made me love her so much more than I had before, and I was a fan to begin with. She plays herself on a movie set, a totally bawdy, lewd Brit who gives "helpful" advice on how to dirty talk. A brilliant performance. (Also up for his guest role on Extras: Ben Stiller. And guess what? He played a loud, annoyed, angry guy. When will this schtick get old? Enough already. At least he lost.)

Okay, now we join the show in progress, as the Dick Clark tribute goes on. Dick has just introduced Barry Manilow. Barry has been all over the place this year, and he just looks and sounds awful. His face looks like Roy Horn before the tiger got to him--I wonder if he takes Roy's photo to the plastic surgeon with him as an inspiration. And his performances now lack all energy. I grew up with a lot of Manilow in the background, so I know of what I speak here. I know he's old now, but it's sad to see.

Back from the commercial brak with Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan. Tina looks pretty cute in a very low cut black dress. FYI--I'm not going to comment on the attire of any men unless it is something that really stands out. Best individual performance in a variety or musical program. Manilow is up for this. If he wins, there is no justice. Okay, there is no justice. He just won. How can this be? Has the whole world closed their eyes to how much he now sucks? And I'm saying this as someone who loved the cheese that was Barry Manilow back when everyone else was making fun of him.

The accounting team introduced a la a sporting event. Among the four? Kareem Abdul-Jabaar. Okay, so at least they made it fun this year. But why do the accountants need to be introduced? Couldn't the host just say that Ernst and Young did the accounting and not introduce the reps? Why does this happen?

Evangeline Lilly and Wentworth Miller introducing the winners for guest actor in a drama series. This award has already given, but I don't know who won. I'm going to guess Michael J. Fox in a sympathy vote over the much more deserving Henry Ian Cusick for Lost. For the women, I have to go with Ricci for her role as the terrified paramedic in Grey's Anatomy. Okay, wrong on both counts. Christian Clemenson, winner of the men's award, is presenting the directing award for a drama. I believe this is the only award Big Love was even up for, which is just shocking to me. Went to 24, which I just don't watch, so I can't really comment. Writing award went to The Sopranos. Unlike most, I really enjoyed this season, so it's good to see a win.

Okay, sorry, I skipped some awards I didn't care much about. But I'm back with best lead actor in a miniseries or movie. Hugh Laurie and Helen Mirren are presenting and are genuinely good at it--no awkwardness in their little skit. I guess that's what happens when the actors are genuinely talented. Andre Braugher, of the late, lamented Gideon's Crossing, wins for Theif.

Next presenters: Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry. Best lead actor in a comedy. This show is just flying along. Tony Shaloub wins for Monk. I'm sure it wasn't a popular choice, but I actually do watch Monk (how could I not?--I still record Murder, She Wrote, Columbo and Matlock), and he really does a good job. And at least it wasn't Kevin James or Charlie Sheen winning for their insipid shows.

Oh! Up next: Aaron Spelling salute! Can't wait! Damn watching live--it means you have to suffer through commercials.

Wait, what? Candace Bergen is introducing the Dick Aspen. Who, you ask? The chairman and CEO of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. This is who they got to present the Spelling tribute? Sorry, but pretty damned weak. They should have just thrown Candy and Tori on the stage to see what would happen.

Okay, I kind of take it back. He's just introducing Joan Collins (Dynasty), Stephen Collins (Seventh Heaven) and Heather Locklear (Dynasty, T.J. Hooker, Melrose Place). That's better. A quick cut to Candy and Randy Spelling. No Tori in sight. Oh, here's a shot of Tori and husband Dean McDermott. Looks like they are sitting far from Randy and Candy.

A quick clip of Spelling's shows, followed by Jacklyn Smith, Kate Jackson and Farrah Fawcett walking onto the stage together. This might be great. Farrah looks like she fell asleep in the tanning bed and then popped a handful of quaaludes. (Quaaludes seems appropriately Spelling-esque.) Okay, Kate Jackson has stopped speaking and Farrah has taken the mic. Damn, nothing embarassing. She got misty-eyed, but that's expected. Oh well, it had promise. Candy Spelling is crying up a storm. Or, at least, "crying" up a storm. Who knows? End of tribute.

Eva Longoria is still ahead. I'm surprised I haven't seen a photo of her dress yet.

Back from commercials. Looks like the editing got messed up, because it cut right into the presentation of nominees, without een introducing the presenters or the cateogory. Looks like The Girl in the Cafe is the winner for...something. Oh, wait, for best made for television movie. I guess the excellent Mind Over Murder, which introduced Tori Spelling to now-husband Dean McDermott, just missed the cut. The woman who won was stuck all the way in the back, making for a very, very long walk to the podium.

Colbert and Stewart presenting. Colbert seems just as upset that he lost to Manilow as I am. At least someone else sees the light. Best reality show. I don't know what I want here? Do I cheer for Runway? Root for the Race? I'm so torn. Sophie's choice, here. Winner: The Amazing Race. Oh, how I miss it. And there's Phil! He's looking a little...too tan. Either a lot of this season was spent filming in the tropics or Phil's been spending a little too much time with Farrah Fawcett.

I just saw a commercial for ER. This show is still on the air? Really? Honestly, I didn't realize that.

Katherine Heigl and Omar Epps are presenting. Heigl looks very Charlize Theron. Including, unfortunately, skin that looks pretty orange. What's with all of these bad tans? They are presenting for best directing in a miniseries or movie. Goes to Elizabeth I. I meant to watch that when it first aired--I should really get around to it at some point. Wow. This speech is a real downer and he isn't even saying anything depressing. The winner looks like he is being held hostage or something. Kind of disturbing.

Emmy for outstanding writing in a miniseries or movie: The Girl in the Cafe. This is the third award for that show, which I hadn't heard of until tonight. Maybe I'll rent it? What's it even about?

James Gandolfini and Edie Falco presenting. Outstanding miniseries. I'm going to guess The Girl in the Cafe, considering its success thus far. And...I'm wrong. Elizabeth I. That was going to be my other guess. Never bet against a show starring Helen Mirren (by the way, Mirren is wearing an amazing emerald necklace tonight).

Now it's time for the In Memorium portion of the show. Let's see who gets the most applause. I think even money is on Spelling, assuming he gets his photo on after already having a special tribute. A bit of a swell for Mike Douglas. I would have liked to see more appluase for Pat Morita. Oh, here we go--Don Knotts. Much more applause than anyone else. A lot of applause for John Spencer. Laughter for Richard Pryor. No additional showing of Aaron Spelling. So Knotts beats out Spencer.

Felicity Huffman and Keifer Sutherland. Interesting dress choice from Felicity. Looks like some kind of jersey material, in a putty color. I think it was a good option--she was so formally dressed throughout the last awards season, this looks good. And the winner for best actress in a miniseries...Helen Mirren. Of course! Never bet against Mirren! Plus, she just said it was "a great triumph not falling ass over tit" as she climbed the stairs. Excellent.

Calista Flockheart looking good. Presenting for best actress in a drama. Winner: Mariska Hargitay. Looks like the back fat has subsided. Perhaps I just saw her from a bad angle earlier. I still feel sorry for Mariska a few years ago when she lost the Emmy to Alison Janney, who then invited all of the other nominees (Hargitay was the first she asked) to stand up on stage with her. Mariska got on stage, but no one else did, so she just kind of stood up there awkwardly. It was so embarassing. Not surprisingly, she didn't invite Janney to share the stage with her tonight.

Tyra Banks and Victor Garber presenting together. What a strange combination. Garber is so droll. Best actress in a comedy. I know Kudrow is a favorite of many, but I'm going for Louis-Dreyfuss. And she won! Yay Old Christine. She only won for Seinfeld once.

Ah, here are Virginia Madsen's breasts. She looks really good--hair, make-up, everything. Presenting lead actor in a drama. Keifer Sutherland. It's his first win in nine nominations. What has he been nominated for other than 24?

Bob Newhart presenting best comedy. Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Scrubs, Two and a Half Men. All I know about this is that Two and a Half Men cannot be the winner here. And it isn't. The Office wins. I saw some clips from the show last night and I think I'm going to have to start watching it this season.

Final award--best drama--presented by Annette Bening. Nominees are Grey's Anatomy, House, The Sopranos, 24 and The West Wing. 24 wins. They really had a good night tonight. I just never started watching the show. Gobo really enjoys it though. I'm sure it's good.

And it's over. I just flipped over to E! and they are showing Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna, asking Harry about the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Which is all well and good, but...shouldn't they be congratulating him on his turn as Aaron Echolls? Oh well.

Oh, god. And Paula Abdul has walked into the post-show interviews. She seems so wasted. She's rambling on and on. This is so embarassing--they are drowning her out with music and she's just on the post-show red carpet! Is she just the loopiest person ever or is she always on something?

On that note, I should probably call it a night. Maybe next year I'll try to set up a pool.