Pop Culture Junkette

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Alias is back!

Alias is finally back and ohmygodohmygod was it a great two hour episode. (Unfortunately, I couldn't watch it all last night because I only have one Tivo so I had to watch the Amazing Race live, and then start watching Alias and then I started feeling crummy and thought a good night's sleep would make me feel better, but of course it didn't and I woke up with a monster cold and I can't imagine staying up latish to watch all of Alias in one sitting would have made it worse. And. breathe. Or at least pause to calm down in a breathing like fashion since real breath is made impossible by said monster cold.)

Sooo . . . so much good stuff happened what with Weiss, and Irina, and VAUGHN that I don't know where to begin. (Except with how great is it that the network actually gave this wonderful show with such horrible ratings and a rabid fan base enough warning of cancellation for them to really go out in style? Thanks ABC! Though what is with this obsession with clip shows? I saw promos for Lost, Desperate Housewives, and Grey's Anatomy recap hours while watching Alias, and, just, stop it. They're boring and they fool my Tivo into thinking that there's a new episode when there really is not and that's annoying.)

But back to Alias. So much happened that I'm not sure I can remember it all. In fact, as soon as Irina showed up in those kickass black stiletto boots to put a cap in that . . . double agent (I guess?) my memories of all that had gone before were (almost) erased with the awesomeness of it all. Luckily, what had gone before included the wonderful reappearance of Weiss to bail out Dixon and Marshall and the newbies. (Note to writers: I know that at the beginning of the season you actually thought that there would be another season (fools!) and so invested some time in trying to get me to care about the blonde and Balthazar Ghetty, and set up some mysteries involving them, but . . . no. I do not care about wrapping up any loose ends involving these characters. You have dropped enough threads over the past 5 seasons to produce a fairly substantial wall hanging (see, e.g., the contents of a certain safe deposit box revealed at the end of Season 3), and now is not the time to get conscientous and waste precious screen time trying to resolve story lines about characters just introduced this year. Don't bother.)

It was so great that the writers managed to fit in at least one more twisted family vacation with Irina and Sydney and Jack off on one of their little jaunts to steal a mysterious artifact. My favorite episodes always involve this nuclear family pausing in kicking each others' asses only long enough to kick someone else's. When Irina told Sydney that she'd never wanted a child and was only a means to an end and that she'd chosen being an agent over being a mother . . . it was so terribly sad. But the sadness did not last long because the poignancy was followed by the most unrealistic birth ever shown on television. Now, I've never had a baby, but I'm pretty sure that they almost never come within minutes of the beginning of labor and with very little effort on the part of the mother, and that when a baby is in distress during the delivery the next thing one does is NOT put said newborn on a plane with its mother who's JUST GIVEN BIRTH IN A BANK looking all dewy and clean and in fresh clothes. Was there a a trip to the hospital in there somewhere? A trip to the Gap? What with the huh?

And then, dun dun dun, VAUGHN IS ALIIIIVVE and living in BHUTAN! Huh? Sydney and Jack have to know he's alive right? Is that what she was asking him to do on the plane, tell Vaughn about the baby? As always this show has left me all kinds of confused, and that's without even getting into what the hell is Irina doing with Prophet 5, what is the Horizon and why does everybody want it (except apparently Sloan who had to know that it was in Vancouver all this time because he was a member of the Alliance and probably involved in this mission and why did Jack and Sydney not ask him about what it is and what it means unless they really don't trust him which of course they shouldn't) and how does this all fit in with Rambaldi? Because it's got to right? Sorry for such a ridiculously long post that says almost nothing. But I'm sick and editing is too much to ask of me. But if my fellow junkettes (or anyone else who reads this site (ha!)) could explain some of this to me I'd really appreciate it.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Red Fraggle said...

I'm confused about many things as well. Do you think Irina is the leader of Prophet Five? She was going on about how they were underground and not doing much and then they told her they had found someone to lead them. Perhaps they were asking HER to be that person and she left it out of the conversation? Not that that would clear up anything, but I was wondering that while I watched.

And why doesn't Sloane just tell Jack about the blackmail that is going on regarding Nadia's vaccine? I am sure Sloane and Jack could find a way to thwart the blackmailers! They are Sloane and Jack, they can do anything!

4/20/2006 4:54 PM  
Blogger Red Fraggle said...

Oh, two more things--

1.) The other really annoying, unrealistic aspect of the episode was when Mr. Big Seven CIA told Jack where Sydney was just because Jack shot him a few times. This is one of the top seven CIA agents and he wouldn't keep his mouth shut and wasn't even really being tortured? After seeing Syd, Vaughn, Sark, et al. tortured so many times and refuse to give up information, this seemed unrealistic.

2.) Don't you think Syd's baby is something Rambaldi related? And that is why Prophet Five is after it? Although I don't know why Prophet Five cares about a Rambaldi baby... So confused.

By the way, despite all of this, I LOVED THIS EPISODE! And Michael Vartan looked super hot for the two seconds he was on TV.

4/20/2006 5:00 PM  
Blogger Laura Holt said...

Irina and Prophet 5 seemed to have a really confusing relationship, and I can't tell if she's really heading the organization, or just pretending to work for them while pursuing her own nefarious (or not nefarious, who can tell with her) ends.

As for Sloan not telling Jack, don't you think that's because Sloan knows that ultimately he and Jack have different interests and that Jack will always choose to protect Sydney over Nadia and Sloan will always choose the opposite (except that one time where he didn't because Nadia was already batshit insane with the crazy zombie stuff).

Sydney's baby HAS to be Rambaldi related somehow. I was trying during the episode to remember all those Rambaldi prophesies, but quickly gave up when I remembered that even the writers can't keep them straight and will no doubt give us a completely new one.

And you're totally right about the wimpitude of Mr. Big Seven CIA. But really, Jack is SCARY. The only person on the show that might possibly be scarier than Jack is Irina, and 7 was stuck between the two of them, which . . . whoa. I can't judge. And also . . . just because he was big 7 CIA doesn't mean he was ever a field agent does it? I mean, look at the guy. Even if he was ever trained to withstand torture, he'd obviously gone soft long ago.

4/20/2006 6:58 PM  
Blogger Bailey Quarters said...

I just finished watching this morning. My fake tivo stopped right as they showed Vaughn. Did anything happen after that?

I agree that Jack is scary and I would totally spill the beans if he even looked at me the wrong way, but it was funny how the guy held firm after being shot twice, but then started talking when Jack punched him in the nose. That actor will always be Donald Anspaugh to me, but he was recently on West Wing, and imdb tells me that he was in the second episode of Alias.

The baby is totally Rambaldi. By the way, does she have a name?

I don't think Sydney knows that Vaughn is alive. She just seems too sad and angry for that to make sense. Of course, making sense is not this show's strong suit.

4/21/2006 10:37 AM  

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