Alias is back!

Alias is finally back and ohmygodohmygod was it a great two hour episode. (Unfortunately, I couldn't watch it all last night because I only have one Tivo so I had to watch the Amazing Race live, and then start watching Alias and then I started feeling crummy and thought a good night's sleep would make me feel better, but of course it didn't and I woke up with a monster cold and I can't imagine staying up latish to watch all of Alias in one sitting would have made it worse. And. breathe. Or at least pause to calm down in a breathing like fashion since real breath is made impossible by said monster cold.)

Sooo . . . so much good stuff happened what with Weiss, and Irina, and VAUGHN that I don't know where to begin. (Except with how great is it that the network actually gave this wonderful show with such horrible ratings and a rabid fan base enough warning of cancellation for them to really go out in style? Thanks ABC! Though what is with this obsession with clip shows? I saw promos for Lost, Desperate Housewives, and Grey's Anatomy recap hours while watching Alias, and, just, stop it. They're boring and they fool my Tivo into thinking that there's a new episode when there really is not and that's annoying.)

But back to Alias. So much happened that I'm not sure I can remember it all. In fact, as soon as Irina showed up in those kickass black stiletto boots to put a cap in that . . . double agent (I guess?) my memories of all that had gone before were (almost) erased with the awesomeness of it all. Luckily, what had gone before included the wonderful reappearance of Weiss to bail out Dixon and Marshall and the newbies. (Note to writers: I know that at the beginning of the season you actually thought that there would be another season (fools!) and so invested some time in trying to get me to care about the blonde and Balthazar Ghetty, and set up some mysteries involving them, but . . . no. I do not care about wrapping up any loose ends involving these characters. You have dropped enough threads over the past 5 seasons to produce a fairly substantial wall hanging (see, e.g., the contents of a certain safe deposit box revealed at the end of Season 3), and now is not the time to get conscientous and waste precious screen time trying to resolve story lines about characters just introduced this year. Don't bother.)

It was so great that the writers managed to fit in at least one more twisted family vacation with Irina and Sydney and Jack off on one of their little jaunts to steal a mysterious artifact. My favorite episodes always involve this nuclear family pausing in kicking each others' asses only long enough to kick someone else's. When Irina told Sydney that she'd never wanted a child and was only a means to an end and that she'd chosen being an agent over being a mother . . . it was so terribly sad. But the sadness did not last long because the poignancy was followed by the most unrealistic birth ever shown on television. Now, I've never had a baby, but I'm pretty sure that they almost never come within minutes of the beginning of labor and with very little effort on the part of the mother, and that when a baby is in distress during the delivery the next thing one does is NOT put said newborn on a plane with its mother who's JUST GIVEN BIRTH IN A BANK looking all dewy and clean and in fresh clothes. Was there a a trip to the hospital in there somewhere? A trip to the Gap? What with the huh?

And then, dun dun dun, VAUGHN IS ALIIIIVVE and living in BHUTAN! Huh? Sydney and Jack have to know he's alive right? Is that what she was asking him to do on the plane, tell Vaughn about the baby? As always this show has left me all kinds of confused, and that's without even getting into what the hell is Irina doing with Prophet 5, what is the Horizon and why does everybody want it (except apparently Sloan who had to know that it was in Vancouver all this time because he was a member of the Alliance and probably involved in this mission and why did Jack and Sydney not ask him about what it is and what it means unless they really don't trust him which of course they shouldn't) and how does this all fit in with Rambaldi? Because it's got to right? Sorry for such a ridiculously long post that says almost nothing. But I'm sick and editing is too much to ask of me. But if my fellow junkettes (or anyone else who reads this site (ha!)) could explain some of this to me I'd really appreciate it.