Amazing Race All-Stars: A Girl Can Dream
It is the one-week anniversary of the season finale of the Amazing Race, and I already miss it. I really love the Race. But what I would really, really, really love is if there were an all-star edition of the Race. I'm not holding my breath, since host Phil Keoghan has said he doesn't think it will happen any time soon. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't create my ideal all-star teams.
Most versions of the Race have featured 11 teams, although at least one season featured 12. With that in mind, I'm going with a 12-team all-star roster. I managed to get a team from each season, except season 8, the family edition which I like to pretend never happened. The teams, with my commentary are as follows:
1. Rob and Amber (season 7)
2. Eric and Jeremy (season 9)
3. Colin and Christie (season 5)
The three above teams are arguably the most dominant the Race has ever seen, perhaps along with BJ and Tyler, so they deserve a berth in my imaginary all-star world.
4. Team Guido (Bill and Joe) (season 1)
Okay, how can one not include Team Guido? The original Race villains, they thought they possessed class and talent that no one else could dream of. I love the Guidos. In fact, I bought their autobiography for my brother one year for Christmas and had the Guidos sign it! They were nice enough to have their dog (Guido) sign it as well. The inscription I requested: "Here's to a night sitting in front of the fire with two glasses of wine" (a shout-out to their super-cheesy opening shot during the credits of them doing just that).
5. Kevin and Drew (the original frats) (season 1)
I just loved them and their bald heads. They seemed like genuinely nice guys who came across as a little dumb, which made them more lovable. They also had the heaviest New York accents. And they couldn't stand Team Guido, which is just great for tension.
6. Emily and Nancy (season 1)
Another team from the first season, Emily and Nancy were a mother-daughter team that did really well (made it to the final five). I really loved Emily, and the dynamic between them was great--typical mother-daughter, with an exasperated daughter, a slightly protective mother, and a lot of love.
7. Lena and Kristy (The Mormon Sisters) (season 6)
They should be on the All-Stars just because they deserve a second chance. They had the worst luck I have ever seen on the Race, with poor Lena looking for a clue in haystack after haystack after haystack after... They actually got to the haystacks before most teams, but everyone else had the luck of choosing a haystack with a clue, while Lena didn't. She ended up searching for eight hours hours, until Phil finally went to the haystacks to tell them they had been eliminated. I thought that they had a real chance of being the first (and would have still been the only) all-female team to win the Race.
8. Flo and Zach (season 3)
9. BJ and Tyler (season 9)
10. Rob and Brennan (season 1)
You need some former champs to be in the Race, and I thought these three teams were good choices. You have to have Flo and Zach, because Flo was just so whiny, annoying and generally reprehensible (plus they went to my alma mater, so I have to choose them, right?). BJ and Tyler, although not as great as Eric and Jeremy, were strong racers throughout and should be considered all-stars. And Rob and Brennan, although boring, were the first winners and deserve a spot. Looking at the champs from other seasons, Uchenna and Joyce were probably the weakest team to ever win, and don't deserve an All-Star label (even if she did shave her head). I loved Chip and Kim, but they weren't all that exciting (and weren't even the best racers from their season). Boston friends Chris and Alex from season two--does anyone even remember them?! Reichen and Chip from the fourth season could definitely be included, but they have broken up, so I doubt they would play along. I just hated Freddy and Kendra from season seven, mostly because of Kendra's insensitive (giving her the benefit of every doubt) comments about the people in the countries she visited.
11. Danny and Oswald (Team Cha Cha Cha) (season 2)
How can I not include a team that professed they would prefer to be shopping?
12. Blake and Paige (season 2)
Because they were the creepiest, most incestuous brother and sister team ever.
First alternate team:
The Bowling Moms (Karen and Linda) (season 5)
They ended up in fourth place! I was so impressed with them, so if any of the above teams decided they couldn't make it, the Moms would be in.
And that's it! I guess if we needed additional alternate teams, I would pick Jill and John-Vito (season 3) because they were the nicest couple in the history of the show and Tara and Will (season 2), because they were good racers, and because Will had lied to Tara and she thought they were no longer married when they really were. You have to love that.
At the very least, I would like a reunion show. Did Jill and Jon-Vito get married and have really sweet kids? Did Lenny ever speak to Karen again after she dumped him on the elimination mat? I heard engaged couple Kelly and Jon broke up--is this true? Did the Dating Virgins ever get it on? I would really appreciate some answers.
The team that would never make it on my All-Star roster? Jonathan and Victoria. The other team? Ian and Teri. There's drama, and then there is me wanting to change the channel.
Labels: Amazing Race