The Things You Miss While on Vacation

This is possibly the story of the year. It involves an NBA player crashing his car, while drunk, watching porn (I have to admit I missed Anal Action. Note to self, "Add Anal Action to Netflix queue), and, the quote of the event, "performing sex to himself." And then begging on videotape not to be turned in because he is drunk and doesn't want to go to jail. How much better could the story get? I guess there is only one possible resolution--Eddie is about to be traded to Portland.